What REALLY Happens On Your Wedding Night

September 28, 2018 3 Translation missing: en.blogs.article.read_time

What REALLY Happens On Your Wedding Night

Your wedding day can be extremely unpredictable and exhausting. Between the limo ride, the pre-wedding photoshoots, and the stress of trying not to trip down the aisle, it’s easy to feel like you ran a triathlon by the end of the night. Everything could go smoothly with no bumps in the road, or you could be getting drunk Uncle Bob a taxi home at 10 o’clock after he broke the ice luge. Through all of the happiness and chaos, the one thing you still have to look forward to is that one-on-one quality time with your new spouse: undressing, a bubble bath, and a big hotel bed to celebrate your marriage with until the sun comes out (;

Or pass out after you realize all the energy you had all night is wearing thin and you would rather just sleep than even take off that white puffy dress…

You just said goodbye to some people you haven’t seen since you were born, and you are so ready to get upstairs and have your first official rendezvous as husband and wife. Obviously you’re not going to get that far with all those ruffles of the dress taking up half of the hotel room. Your stomach starts yelling at you and you remember you didn’t get a chance to sit down and eat because there were too many Aunts asking when you’re going to start having babies. You think about the Wendy’s you saw on the way to your hotel and you realize you have never been more thankful for your Uber app.


After making your Uber driver go through the drive thru twice because you realized you forgot to order fries, you arrive back at the hotel. You run into all your cousins in the lobby who are having their after party. You get stuck talking to them and the whole time you’re thinking about how much better a bubble bath is sounding right now. You find a breakaway mid conversation and you run upstairs before they notice. While you’re reheating your Wendy’s, you get your bubble bath ready and hang your Mr. and Mrs. robes on the bathroom door. You both stuff your faces full of burgers and fries and realize that maybe you should’ve stopped dancing for at least 10 minutes to eat, but you don’t think about that anymore as you realize your bubble bath is just about ready and it’s time to get this show on the road.


Five minutes into the bubble bath and instead of getting your groove on, you take notice that you are both just sitting in your sweat and the germs of other people that wouldn’t stop hugging you all night. Not only is this an issue, but when you closed your eyes to kiss for a couple seconds, you found it very hard to open them back up. You really could just fall asleep right there in your dirty water, but you think that maybe that isn’t the best idea of the night. Your bath bomb isn’t even close to being fully dissolved yet, but those soft towels and robes are looking more and more comfy as the seconds pass. You decide that you’ll take a bath the next night but right now this one is over.


The Mr. and Mrs. robes that you have been waiting months to use are finally on your bodies. You think that they won’t be on much longer because it still is your wedding night and you still have to celebrate, but you take some cute mirror pictures with them on and you talk about how you can’t wait to post them tomorrow. Finally your spouse drags you to the bed. You both get comfy under the white cotton sheets and you decide to take one last cute ‘in bed’ selfie real quick. You lay your heads on the fluffy pillows, you hold the phone above you, snap the picture, talk about how cute it is for 5 seconds...and the next thing you know it’s 10 o'clock A.M. the next day and you wake up fully robed in the same position with Instagram open on your forehead.

...and that’s how you really spent your wedding night.


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